Here's a commission for . He asked me to draw a busty girl with curly hair and a dress similar to one that Shirley Temple used to wear, except as a two-piece. He chose this pose, which was easier for me.
[link] I think here you had fallen in a pretty common mistake: "Boken Mirror"!(<--name invented just now) It consists in a (often casual) flaw or overlook in proportions, more specifically on eyes/face! (most common/basic case). It's like the more basic tool to transmit an emotion in a drawing is no other than eyes/face! They say that eyes are soul's mirror, you know? I think it's a fact! Human beings exists to communicate with eachother, "we are social beings"! (it's even a non "social" being? By social i mean "non fated to relate to other being"... and if that being exists, it must be a union of two!) ...So, face/eyes is what we "are", what gives us an "identity". In our profession, which are the usual/universal way to humanize everything? Giving eyes to everything (and other facial elements, but eyes are dominat) --- Well, i'm not gonna extend more on that matter, haha. Anyway, the first thing i see/look to in a drawing it's the face! If the face fails, then all fails! (the most important tool to transmit emotion fails = everything fails) And why did it fail? Just by Boken Mirror! And the worst part is the most of artists that make this mistake can do thins perfectly fine in other occasions! Like i said, is mostly a casual mistake... and you, like an artist, have to get rid of it!
That's all about the image correction. Another things i can say about your drawing: Legs seem to not work correctly with the body. Like they are to much stylized (= too much babylike/chlidlike in a mature upper body). Also... [link] (i don't know if that accessory is meant to be there. I think it's should be more close to pelvis -i think-)
thanks for the critique. Strangely, when I inverted this picture to see if it looked alright, I didn't find fault with that eye being placed there. I knew that that eye was a bit awkward where it was, but I also thought that moving it closer to the other one would kind of mess with the look I was looking for. As for the legs, the commissioner asked for this drawing to be very cartoony, so I tried going that approach with the body. I personally don't see any difference in detail between the upper body and legs, though that's just me. Also, I lowered the leg accessory so it could be visible in this picture. I thought it would be a nice addition, but I notice now that it doesn't really make sense.
Again, thanks for the critique. I'll try to avoid these mistakes in the future.
Oh, sorry, i meant "rotated to the right" (wink expression). I also wanted to say "Broken Mirror", not "Boken" (?!). Lastly, with this part "If the face fails, then all fails! (the most important tool to transmit emotion fails = everything fails)" i didn't mean you "failed" in this drawing or anything! I said it generally referring to what i was saying, just that. Like your commissioner said, you transmitted the emotions you wanted just fine, so it's not a fail at all but a achievement!! My critiques are more about "you could improve this" or "have this in mind"!
Yaah, that's right! I inverted the pic too and didn't see anything wrong... strange, right? Maybe this broken mirror it's a high level one, haha = I think it's because the wink expression. Right eye would be too much far away to the right, but at the same time you make it somewhat correctly symmetric (hope you understand my babbling xD). In this case, her whole face would be rotated a little to the left (wink expression), and then, right eye moved away a little. And moreover, if more chin (right) will be added, then right eye would be in place (chubby chubby). That's why it would be seem right. Example-->[link]
About the legs, i think the problem resides, more than in style (maybe i expressed myself bad) in length. Her arms length i almost the same than her legs... that's why i think upper body and legs don't end to match. Upper body is somewhat realistic (in proportions) and legs aren't (that equals to no proportion balance). That's the way i see it.
My pleasure! Hope i helped you in any way! Keep improving like a monsta! >xD
I'm a writer and editor by profession and musician by passion. I've written or edited millions of words and performed thousands of gigs. I wish beyond wishes I could illustrate well, but despite lots of practice and effort, it's just not meant to be.
Creativity is a means of communication, so the only true measure of creativity is effectiveness. A great creation, whether it's art, music or prose, is one that conveys a message or mood as though it was the viewer's (or listener's or reader's) own. Great artists are careful to cultivate their own skills, but I've seen too many do it at the expense of effective communication. What was once "that was a killer solo" slowly turns into "I missed a 16th note going into the fourth measure and I think I need half a decibel more at 250 kHz." And what that musician nit-picks to musical and sonic perfection becomes an abominable piece of shit that's torture to hear.
You've got a style and technique that communicates quite effectively. I love this work and don't think I could have asked for better. Critique from other artists is always helpful one way or another, but don't let it paralyze what's already working wonderfully. I'd be willing to bet that if you "fixed" the face, it wouldn't have been half as pleasing to me, the humble commissioner.
I also think it's premature to pass or fail a work based on facial proportions - there were plenty of artists creating amazing and inspiring works long before the art world learned the scientific proportions of the human body and face.
I agree a lot with you, sir! What it's important in art it's what it transmit. That's the "WHAT". But, sadly, i'm too demanding to let just that decide! So if i see i can improve the "HOW", i'll do it without a doubt! So if by any chance my criticism can help to make better, just a little, the way an artist create, then, i will fulfill my goal with pride! That's why when i see RedBlooper's blooming art, which i really love, i can stop myself from give criticism! If i can, i want to make a difference, a good one, with the few knowledge i posses! Both, for you and me!!
I'll also want to make clear that i do not give criticism to make the artist "fix" the criticized art, but for the artist to have my words in mind for the future! Consideration purpose only! (it can be exceptions and it will be exceptions, but not in this case)
thanks for the comments, sir. I know that everyone has their own opinions and views on art, so I try to respect those opinions. However, I also try to listen to my own gut as best I can, though at times it may be in error. But, either way, my goal was to please the one who commissioned this piece from me, and I've fulfilled that goal.
You know I have to say that is one attractively impressive pin-up David . I also have to agree with that Caravanpalace's feel does fit with this artwork. Although I honestly feel their song Dramaphone [link] fits more with this piece. Anyway, this girl you drew is an amazing mix between Beautiful and Cute Actually, in truth the word I'm looking for is gorgeous. Yeah that's it. This girl is gorgeous looker You did a awesome job for one of your first pinups.